A friend of mine saw the picture below on Facebook and asked for my opinion.
The bottom part may be hard to read so here is what it says:
basically, any sexuality other than pansexual is cissexist, transphobic and shallow. Most women who claim they are “lesbians” (ughhh) DO NOT include women with penises or beards when they say they like women. Most men who claim they are “gay” would NEVER date a guy with a vagina.
Let me give you an example: If someone says “I only date white women” everyone would call them a racist for excluding women of color, but if the same person says “I only date cis women”, nobody calls them a transphobe and it’s no big deal they exclude trans women. That’s was a cis supremacist society does to your head. In reality, transphobia is a much bigger problem than racism. If you’re willing to lower your standards to date a black woman, you should also be willing to date a woman with a cock.
Open your minds people.
Now, I’m open for discussion and opinions on this but here’s what I have to say about it.
First and foremost, this must have been written by a white person who, for some reason, doesn’t fully understand racism and how it affects the world today. This is shown in the fact that they consider dating black women as “lowering your standards.”
Second, I don’t think this person understands intersectionality. This entire argument excludes the experiences of trans women of color who face both racism and transphobia, often simultaneously.
Is transphobia a problem? Yes. That’s shown in the fact that just last year trans women were being targeted and murdered nationwide. It just so happens that the majority of them were trans women of color, which further proves my first point.
Is transphobia a bigger problem than racism? I feel like this question is comparing apples and bananas. Can you really compare them when they don’t stem from the same systematic oppression? No, I personally don’t believe so. It seems as though this person is using this comparison because they care about transphobia but not about racism because it doesn’t affect them directly. That’s not how this should work. You don’t have to dismiss one community’s issue just because you don’t share it.
As far as calling people out for saying that they only date cis people, I think they’re wrong. I feel like if someone goes out of their way to specifically say cis, they are making a point of announcing that they are transphobic.
Furthermore, (correct me if I’m wrong) trans people themselves can identify as gay and lesbian. So does that make them transphobic too? Something isn’t adding up.
I do not agree that being lesbian or gay makes you transphobic or shallow. I also don’t agree that it’s even rational to expect everyone in the world to identify as pansexual. Most people didn’t even know that pansexuality existed until a few years ago. Some still don’t. People are definitely learning, but it’s not something that will change overnight.
Moving into women with beards and men with vaginas, I understand that that is a difficult situation to explain. I’m not an expert in this topic and am still learning and have questions so I’m not going to offer advice or tell you what to believe. But I will say this: A lot of people don’t understand this, because we’ve always been taught that women have vaginas and men have penises. When you’ve been told one thing your whole life and you’ve accepted it as truth, you can’t just expect people to let go of that so easily. It takes time. More people are starting to understand and some people just never will.
It’s unfortunate that we live in a world where many people aren’t accepted or feel that they can’t be themselves, regardless of what their identity is. Sadly, this is the world we live in and all marginalized communities are constantly fighting these battles. I know that the original post was intended to fight against transphobia, but I feel like it also (unintentionally) she light on anti-blackness and racism within the LGBTQ+ community. With that said, I think it’s important to note that when you want to stand up for one community, you can do it without stomping on another.
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