#StopBlamingWomenMakeMenTheProblem: Nicole Cartwright

Things Carla Loves

— Trigger Warning —

The other day, I read an article by Jane Gilmore, discussing that there was no national outrage or outcry, and little had been said in the media, about the fact that just the other week in Australia, six women were murdered in five days.

Yes.

Six women were murdered in five days.

As a result, I am working toward and planning to dedicate several Raising Awareness slots to the women who have sadly lost their lives in 2018, in Australia, to domestic violence. Hopefully, if we are reminded each week of their faces, their names, their lives, we will get over our compassion fatigue and start to give a damn about violence against women.

I would also like to take this opportunity to note that during this time, White Ribbon has decided that it wants to be “agnostic” when it comes to…

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#WhyIDidn’tReport: Yes, Colour Matters In Sexual Assault Cases

Things Carla Loves

— Trigger and Content Warning —

Like with the “Friendship Breakup” series, over the next few weeks, I’ll be answering commonly asked questions surrounding, specifically, Dr Ford and the entire fiasco that we just watched. 

As this topic is of a sensitive nature, and many of you may have questions or stories you’d like to share or have answered, please feel free to drop a message in my Facebook inbox or DM me on my Instagram, @thingscarlaloves. You do not have to share your story in the comment section (or anywhere else) if you do not feel comfortable. 

As always, there will be a list of helpline services added, if you need help. I strongly urge that you confide in someone you trust in order to help you heal. 

I know there’s a lot of ya’ll who like to pretend like things like white privilege don’t…

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Book Review: They Both Die at the End

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

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Synopsis:

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today.

Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day.


~SPOILER ALERT~


Right off the bat, this phone call is horrifying. First she had the nerve to get Mateo’s name wrong and she’s like “go online to tell us what you want on your gravestone.” Bitch, what??

I knew that I would love this book if not just for the diversity in characters but I really fucking loved it!!

I love Mateo. He’s awkward and quiet but loving and loyal. While he and Rufus are painted to be opposites, they are still so similar and perfect together.

The fact that Mateo walked in on his own grave being dug was so fucked up. Seriously that is so fucking insensitive.

I love that there are other characters sprinkled in and that all of it is somehow connected. I love it.

I have to admit that Deidre’s story about Life Cast actually sounded pretty interesting and if Adam Silvera decide to write that book, I would definitely buy it.

I was so happy that Lidia and the Plutos were with Rufus and Mateo at the same time. I was also so afraid that Peck was really going to get to them. Ugh what a bitch.

I hate that they had such a perfect moment together and that Mateo died trying to do something nice. Ugh that part killed me. I had totally forgotten about the stove until the end of that chapter.

I’m kind of pissed that Rufus died being reckless. Headphones in and looking at his phone. I mean yeah Mateo was the last thing he saw, his voice was the last thing he heard but damnit. He hadn’t even reached his happy place yet and it was right there. Also, it is so fucking ironic that Victor kills Rufus when he’s the one that called him to tell him that he was going to die. Ugh that pissed me off!

Even though I love this book and it is a fantastic stand alone, I have so many questions:

  • Does Mateo’s dad ever wake up?
  • How does Death-Cast know when someone will die?
  • Why was Death-Cast created? Was it supposed to make dying easier?
  • Can people die unexpectedly?
  • How did Delilah die?

Ugh I need to know.

5 stars.


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Showcase Special: Forgotten Women Scientists You’ve (Probably) Never Heard of #Vol 9

Things Carla Loves

Okay, remember that really awesome movie called Legally Blonde that starred Reese Witherspoon and she was TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!?

For those of you who haven’t, boo you whore, and go watch Legally Blonde right now, then come back to read all about Fe del Mundo because trust me, it’ll be much better in that order.

For those of you sensible and responsible community people (I can’t think of a word that’s not ladies and gents, and I want to be more inclusive, so if anyone has any ideas, now’d be a great fucking time to mention that, btw) that have watched Legally Blonde: Hi, I’m Carla Woods, and this is Rosie Woods. We’re both Gemini vegetarians.

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#StopBlamingWomenMakeMenTheIssue: Torres Strait Islanders & Aboriginal People – Names of a Deceased Person

Things Carla Loves

To any Torres Strait Islander or Aboriginal people reading this post, please be warned that this post will be discussing the murder of an Aboriginal woman from 2011. Out of respect for Lynette Daley, her family, and Aboriginal culture, I have left Lynette’s name out of the title. Please be warned that Lynette’s picture will also feature, but I have tried to ensure it won’t display on any device by ensuring there are plenty of other photos.

— Trigger Warning —

The other day, I read an article by Jane Gilmore, discussing that there was no national outrage or outcry, and little had been said in the media, about the fact that just the other week in Australia, six women were murdered in five days.

Yes.

Six women were murdered in five days.

As a result, I am working toward and planning to dedicate several Raising Awareness slots…

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The Break Up Part 2

Many of you already know the ordeal that I went through with my ex.

When I wrote Women Are Not Required to Have Children I explained how I was upfront about not wanting children and that he lied to me for months and tried to manipulate me into changing my mind.

When I wrote The Break Up, I talked about how he had started to become emotionally abusive and how awful our last encounter had been because he spent all of it telling lies and trying to belittle me.

I thought that was it. That it was over. I was wrong.

The night that I returned from my Thanksgiving vacation he texted me to tell me that his mother had wished me a happy holiday season. Except he started the message with “I couldn’t care less.”

I really didn’t want to respond. My dad had just picked me up and told me that our dog would most likely not be coming home because he had cancer in his stomach and lungs and had lost mobility in his back legs.

I only responded because I had no issue with his mother and didn’t want to be disrespectful. This is what happened next:

Me: Tell her I say the same

C: I’m not going to pretend that I will

Me: Then there was no point in telling me

C: Jesus Christ I’m fucking with you. She’s trying to get me to be nice to you


At this point, I’m pissed. I’m already upset about my pup and now he has the nerve to be mad at me because I couldn’t tell that he was “joking” Also, you two clearly had to be talking about me for this to come up. Why? According to him he’s seeing someone so why am I a topic of conversation?


Me: I have a lot of shit going on right now – not that you care. You clearly have no intention of being nice so just don’t bother.

C: Well Rae a piece of me still loves you and wants nothing but the best for you so if it’s something actually serious I would care

Me: That’s hard to believe with everything you said just a few weeks ago

C: Hurt people say stupid things. I’m man enough to admit I was acting like a little petty bitch

Me: That’s not an excuse. You can’t say whatever you want to try to hurt me and belittle me one day and then tell me you still love another day. You weren’t the only one hurt but I’m not nitpicking every detail of your life and making shit up just for the hell of it.

C: I’m not going to defend what I said


I didn’t respond after this. Partly because I was too fucking pissed to think straight and partly because he had already tried to defend himself.

First and foremost, you don’t intentionally hurt the people that you love. Period. So every time he claims he loves me I’m convinced that it’s just another lie to add to pile of millions that he’s already told.

Second, he’s saying he’s “man enough” to admit he was being a bitch. No, if you were a man, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Also, that’s not a fucking apology.

Lastly, he claims that he said all of those things because he was hurt. Well, like I said he wasn’t the only one hurt. He also keeps saying that as if I hurt him. Let’s not forget that he was the one who lied to me. Regardless of any other issues that we had in our relationship, his actions are what caused use to break up. Yet, he’s still acting like a fucking victim.

I am trying to move on. There’s nothing here to hold on to. He’s not going to apologize. He’s not going to admit that he was at fault. I’m not saying I was totally innocent but over and over I have held myself accountable for my own part in all of this.

Quite frankly, I can’t justify giving him another chance even as friends. He’s done too much damage to the connection that we once had and it’s never going to be rebuilt. All I want, is to move on.


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#WhyIDidn’tReport: No, Victims Don’t Owe You Their Story

THIS. I feel like this is something that a lot of women – myself included – have dealt with

Sex only hurt because, more often than not, when I ‘consented’, it was because he’d manipulated me into it, or because I’d learnt it was easier to just say yes

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