This is the story of Leo. We met on Bumble and for about a month, everything was great. He was seven years older than me and worked in IT. It just so happened that he graduated from the university where I work now.
Things were going well. Because of that I decided let the fact that I don’t want children slide into a conversation. I did it twice and both times he took it well. You would think that once we got over that hurdle everything would be fine right? Nope.
I started to realize that for as smart as he must be to work in information technology, he was severely lacking in common sense. He also apparently had never had a woman challenge him before and that became an issue too.
For example, at one point in time he said, “Don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you really think. Just give it to me straight.” So one day I did just that. He did or said something that pissed me off and I called him out. He claimed that I was “being too harsh.” In response, I gave evidence to support my argument and he admitted that I was right. Even when he admitted I was right, he would also try to then come up with some sort of excuse. “Yeah you’re right but maybe…” Whatever followed that phrase was always bullshit to try to get the last word or cover up a mistake. That shit is so fucking annoying, admit you’re wrong and move forward. I know that I am stubborn, but at least if I’m wrong I can admit it and don’t try to come up with any excuse in a failed attempt to save my ass.
One of things that sent my patience over the top with him was the day that he told me that he didn’t think that he could have kids. I had previously mentioned that I didn’t want children so naturally, if that were true he would told me a long time ago. When I asked him why he had never told me that before he said that, he hadn’t gone to a doctor to find out, it just hadn’t happened yet and he hadn’t tried.
I paused and said, so you mean to tell me that you think that you can’t have children simply because you haven’t gotten anyone pregnant yet….??? He said yes. It ended up turning into an argument because I told him that it’s not okay to say something like that without knowing for sure. If I believed that shit and then ended up getting pregnant, there’s no going back from that. Plenty of people aren’t trying to get pregnant and do and other people try and can’t. You can’t just make that assumption and then try to pass it off to somebody else as truth.
Another thing about him was that my stepmom hosted a party right before the holidays so I invited him. He made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. I was only inviting him as a friend, and he freaked out about it. Said that it was too much pressure and blah blah blah. It really wasn’t supposed to be a big deal so I just told him to forget about it. Then one day he brought it up totally unprompted. This happened on two separate occasions so I finally told him that if he wanted to go he could. His immediate response was, “well I’m not saying I’ll show up.” THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP FOR? After that, he brought it up one more time and I just ignored him. I’m not wasting my breath inviting you again. The day of the party I didn’t really talk to him until it was over. Somewhere within that conversation he says, “I should’ve come to your party.” Yeah bitch you should have but you missed out. Either you want to fucking attend or you don’t. Make up your mind.
In addition to that, there were times when I ask him a question and he just wouldn’t say anything. It wasn’t like he didn’t hear me, he just didn’t answer. That happened a few times before I confronted him about and even then he tried to come up with anything that he could to save himself. “Well, maybe I just needed to collect my thoughts before answering.” Um…okay that’s fine but you’re making that up. Even if that were the case, fucking say it instead of not saying anything at all. I shouldn’t have to ask you the same question 3 times in order to get a straight answer.
When things were finally coming to an end because I was getting fed up, we got into an argument. I don’t remember what about but it was big. I asked him something and I think he didn’t respond or said something stupid. I called him out on his (lack of) communication and he said that he figured that avoiding conflict by avoiding the conversation altogether was the best course of action. I told him that was stupid because nothing will get solved that way. After that, I told him I was done.
He texted me a few days later asking if I wanted to get a drink. I said no and he said, “but I still like you.” Cool, but I don’t have time to deal with a grown man who is incapable of communicating like adult. Bye.