The Break Up Part 2

Many of you already know the ordeal that I went through with my ex.

When I wrote Women Are Not Required to Have Children I explained how I was upfront about not wanting children and that he lied to me for months and tried to manipulate me into changing my mind.

When I wrote The Break Up, I talked about how he had started to become emotionally abusive and how awful our last encounter had been because he spent all of it telling lies and trying to belittle me.

I thought that was it. That it was over. I was wrong.

The night that I returned from my Thanksgiving vacation he texted me to tell me that his mother had wished me a happy holiday season. Except he started the message with “I couldn’t care less.”

I really didn’t want to respond. My dad had just picked me up and told me that our dog would most likely not be coming home because he had cancer in his stomach and lungs and had lost mobility in his back legs.

I only responded because I had no issue with his mother and didn’t want to be disrespectful. This is what happened next:

Me: Tell her I say the same

C: I’m not going to pretend that I will

Me: Then there was no point in telling me

C: Jesus Christ I’m fucking with you. She’s trying to get me to be nice to you

At this point, I’m pissed. I’m already upset about my pup and now he has the nerve to be mad at me because I couldn’t tell that he was “joking” Also, you two clearly had to be talking about me for this to come up. Why? According to him he’s seeing someone so why am I a topic of conversation?

Me: I have a lot of shit going on right now – not that you care. You clearly have no intention of being nice so just don’t bother.

C: Well Rae a piece of me still loves you and wants nothing but the best for you so if it’s something actually serious I would care

Me: That’s hard to believe with everything you said just a few weeks ago

C: Hurt people say stupid things. I’m man enough to admit I was acting like a little petty bitch

Me: That’s not an excuse. You can’t say whatever you want to try to hurt me and belittle me one day and then tell me you still love another day. You weren’t the only one hurt but I’m not nitpicking every detail of your life and making shit up just for the hell of it.

C: I’m not going to defend what I said

I didn’t respond after this. Partly because I was too fucking pissed to think straight and partly because he had already tried to defend himself.

First and foremost, you don’t intentionally hurt the people that you love. Period. So every time he claims he loves me I’m convinced that it’s just another lie to add to pile of millions that he’s already told.

Second, he’s saying he’s “man enough” to admit he was being a bitch. No, if you were a man, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Also, that’s not a fucking apology.

Lastly, he claims that he said all of those things because he was hurt. Well, like I said he wasn’t the only one hurt. He also keeps saying that as if I hurt him. Let’s not forget that he was the one who lied to me. Regardless of any other issues that we had in our relationship, his actions are what caused use to break up. Yet, he’s still acting like a fucking victim.

I am trying to move on. There’s nothing here to hold on to. He’s not going to apologize. He’s not going to admit that he was at fault. I’m not saying I was totally innocent but over and over I have held myself accountable for my own part in all of this.

Quite frankly, I can’t justify giving him another chance even as friends. He’s done too much damage to the connection that we once had and it’s never going to be rebuilt. All I want, is to move on.

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About Bookmark Chronicles

Hi! I'm Rae. 25. Avid Reader. Book Blogger. Intersectional Feminist. Gryffinclaw. Coffee & Tea Lover.
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19 Responses to The Break Up Part 2

  1. Laura Beth says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been in a similar situation twice over now, and it’s taken me this time to recognize many of the signs and symptoms, so to speak. I agree with you – I don’t think he should be given another chance as a friend. He’s not a friend, in my opinion. I appreciate your transparency.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ariel Lynn says:

    UGH. He wasn’t kidding. He was being whiny & used “I’m kidding, you have no sense of humor” when called out on it. At least, that’s how I read it, since it’s in line with his character.

    Time to initiate blocking procedures, I think. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maybe you’re right, I should block him. It’s just like…. you literally told me that you didn’t care about so why the fuck won’t you leave me alone?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Y’know, thinking about it now, it does seem we put a lot of significance on “blocking” nowadays. I feel like this is something I need to think about more in the future. 🤔

        Obviously, like he’s done before, he’s still lying. He does care; he just wants to seem “macho” in the stoic-emotionless-hard-unflappable-toxic masculinity sense of the word. Maybe he thinks that if he puts on a tough front, you’ll swoon?

        Honestly, who knows what’s going on in that brain of his? The bigger question, I think, is – do you want to put up with his nonsense trying to figure it out? Unless you have some reason you need to be tied to him (like, a lease, shared property, pets, bills, etc.), I’d say it’s time to care for you over him.

        Then again, I think it’s always time to care for you over him.

        Liked by 1 person

      • At this point I just don’t care about anything that he has to say because 1. It’s probably a lie and 2. I’m tire of him playing the victim, making it seem like he was in any way wronged, and thinking that he can get away with his actions.

        There’s just no point. The only reason that he should ever contact me is about the kitten

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Hopefully by now you’ve blocked him. Although, if there’s a kitten involved (what kitten? how did I miss this? I need the details immediately!), there might be reason to talk.

        Unless, of course, you have the kitten. In which case, it’s in good hands & he can f— right off. It’s not a child; he doesn’t get any visitation.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I didn’t take the kitten for 2 reasons. 1. We had a dog and although he is now gone, the second reason is that 2. My dad is allergic. I can’t take her until I move out and I’m not really sure when that will be.

        Did I never tell you about her? Her name is Nala. She’s black with a white belly and white paws. She’s the cutest

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Ugh. Then, if you want to have the cat at some point, you’d have to keep contact with him. On the other hand, since you don’t know when you’ll be able to move out, it might be super disruptive to Nala to remove her from the house she’s used to.

        I would remember talking about a kitty. I may not remember people, but I’ll remember their cats. Names of both species escape me, unfortunately. LOL

        It sucks that you had to leave her behind. 😥


      • I don’t think I’d have to keep in touch with him bc he doesn’t do it now. At least I would take care of her.


      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Do you think he’s neglecting her? UGH. It’s all so awful!! 😟 😿


      • When we lived together, I was the reason that she ate on a set schedule, that the litter box was cleaned daily, that she was groomed and that she was bathed. He claimed that cats were already self sufficient when I asked him to bathe or groom her. But her hair grew really fast. Rather help groom her than have her choking on hair balls….but that’s just me


      • Ariel Lynn says:

        UGH. People who don’t know cr– about cats, but think they do, irritate me. I think it’s the fact that, in the Internet age, they’re just willfully ignorant.

        Yes, cats are usually self-sufficient when it comes to keeping clean. That doesn’t mean they’re infallible. Certain breeds need weekly baths (Sphinxes come to mind) & long-hair cats need at least a weekly brushing.

        Even my short-to-medium-haired furbaby needs an assist sometimes getting those dead, dangling hairs off. Plus, he needs this stuff, Laxatone, to prevent him from hacking up hairballs so tightly coiled they look like poo.

        I’m so very, very sorry that you’re going through this. 😢

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s okay. It’s not your fault. But Nala’s fur grew quickly. I can guarantee she has not had a bath since I left 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        It may not be my fault, but empathizing with you hurts my heart so badly I want to cry. 💔 * Internet hugs *

        All we can do now, I suppose, is keep baby Nala in our hearts & pray she is well cared for (or re-homed). 😿

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you, love 💕

        Liked by 1 person

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