Typically when I want to write a review about an author I would read at least half of their published works to give a fair rating. Then I realized that I rate authors very similarly to how I rate books (click here for details). So, today I am reviewing an author that I can only give one 1 star to:
A few years ago, the English department on campus was hosting a huge book sale where everything was only one dollar. Of course I had to go!
I really like Jane Austen, so naturally when I found a book with her name in the title, I though that it would be good. Beth Pattillo has three books that are based off of Jane Austen’s life (sort of) and novels. The ones that I found were Jane Austen Ruined My Life and Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart. The third is called The Dashwood Sisters Tell All, but that one wasn’t available. Both of them are about women that have some connection to or interest in Austen and find themselves on an unexpected adventure. The stories are separate but have similar plots.
Here’s my issue, the main characters in both stories are made to be weak, naive, and so easily distracted by men that you would thing they’d never met one before. If I don’t like the main character(s) in a story, it is very likely that they will ruin the story for me. That’s what happened will all of John Green books (on top of a pointless plot) and the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld.
In Jane Austen Ruined My Life, the main character (Emma Grant) blames Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (and her parents) for giving her false hopes about her love life. Um….no. Jane Austen is not the reason that your husband cheated on you and running away to England won’t change the fact that he did. Complaining about how miserable you are won’t help either. Take your time to grieve and then put your life back together. Don’t blame other people for things that none of you have control over. Seriously, what kind of person wishes that their parents’ marriage wasn’t good just so that they could feel better about themselves.
In Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart, Claire Prescott claims to be a reasonable and logical person but somehow ends up “falling for” a complete stranger (despite the fact that she has a boyfriend) because he reminds her of Mr. Darcy……… do you see my problem here? Like, I get it. Who doesn’t love Mr. Darcy (after we realize that he isn’t a pompous jackass)? But, he’s also a fictional character. Even if he were real, that does not make you Lizzie Bennet. Also, you are already in a relationship. Please get your life right.
Listen, I’m all for a good love story. I was obsessed with Nicholas Sparks in high school. But these aren’t even love stories. It’s just someone who thinks that they’re in love after a hot three seconds and then blames everyone else when things don’t go their way.
Out of the 12 books that she has written, I can’t make it past these two. Beth Pattillo gets 1 out of 5 stars.
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