My life is a mess

This isn’t completely true. As far as my career goes I currently work in retail where I immediately started out with a raise and my manager really wants me to stay and become a retail manager because of my experience and degree. This would technically be my backup plan because starting in January I will be working with one event planning company once a month for huge events and then with another company basically every weekend and probably still working retail during the week.

But, the anniversary of my aunt’s death is coming up this month (right before Thanksgiving) and earlier this week my cousin and his girlfriend lost their first child. He would’ve been born next week. A week away and we lost him. He was healthy but he was moving around a lot. He ended up wrapping the umbilical cord around his neck twice and once around his arm and we lost him.  His funeral is Monday.

Aside from that I helped my mom move into her new apartment today. She and my stepdad had been together for 20 years. I never thought that they would break up. My dad and my stepmom also broke up recently….well I found out recently. I was the last to know about it but I wasn’t upset about that. My dad isn’t the greatest when it comes to other people sometimes so I knew she would be happier without him. But with my stepdad it’s different. He and my dad have been in my life basically for the same amount of time and he was always a better father than my biological one. If I needed anything, I would go to him. And I know that I still can and that he’ll still be in my life. I just never thought that this would happen. My mom told me that he worried that I would think of him badly because of the break up but I don’t. I have no reason to. If I wanted blame anyone I would blame her. And I knew about this for weeks, but helping my mom move in today made it real and it just kind of sucks. I feel like things are falling apart even though they’re really not.

It’s just a lot to process right now I guess. I don’t know.

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About Bookmark Chronicles

Hi! I'm Rae. 23. Avid Reader, Book Blogger. Intersectional Feminist. Gryffindor.
This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to My life is a mess

  1. Sorry for your loss. Ir is good that you are writing about your feelings, I am sure that certainly helps as opposed to oppressing the feelings. Try to stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Be kind to yourself 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. carlalouise89 says:

    I’m so, so sorry, Rae. That’s so much to go through, and I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. If you need to talk, please let me know. And please know I’m always here for you x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ariel Lynn says:

    I’m so sorry for all you’re going through right now. 😥

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: November Wrap Up! 2016 | bookmarkchronicles

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