Opening Up About My Disease

This isn’t something that I talk to a lot of people about. In fact, I hardly talk to anyone about it aside from my mother and stepfather to remind them that some of the things that concern them are just symptoms of the disease. Other than that the only person that I’ve talked in depth about this with is Ariel.

I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.

What this means is that my immune system attacks my thyroid gland.

Apparently it’s a fairly common disease even though I only know of one other person with it and had never heard of it before my own diagnosis.

I was diagnosed shortly after I turned 20. For years, every doctor that I went to told me that my thyroid was enlarged. They asked if it hurt, I said no, and that was the end of it. It wasn’t until I went back to my family doctor in my hometown that someone thought that I should get it checked out just in case. She sent me to an endocrinologist who checked some of my old blood work. The results were startling. My hormone levels were all out of whack and he was very concerned. But, because the blood work was a few months old he wanted to double check and had me go again. Everything came back normal.

I don’t know what constitutes “bad” for hormones levels but whatever my results were the first time were BAD! The endo doctor said he was surprised that I was able to recover, but that I would have to get blood work done every six months just in case.

What’s weird about my thyroid levels coming back normal is that I still suffer from a lot of the symptoms including unexplained weight gain, hair loss, dry skin, aching in my hips, stiffness in my shoulders, pain in my knees, stomach pain, menorrhagia, depression, fatigue, and sensitivity to cold.

Until the diagnosis (halfway through my sophomore year in college), I had no idea that all of these things were related. I was always cold compared to everyone else in the room and my hair started falling out in high school. At the very end of my senior year of high school the knee pain started, and then the fatigue, shoulder stiffness, and everything else started in college.

Freshman year my roommate and I would always take naps around 4pm. I knew it wasn’t “normal” but since my roommate did it too I didn’t think it was a big deal. I didn’t realize until a year or so later that it was a problem. I couldn’t sign up for classes after 3pm, otherwise I would fall asleep. Even if I drank energy drinks or a lot of coffee, I could not keep my eyes open. Once 3 o’ clock hit, I was completely burned out.

The pain and stiffness in my shoulders started later that year. I never really thought anything of it and assumed that it was just stress.

When I realized that I was gaining weight, I started eating healthier and working out…. It didn’t help. Even now, I work out 6 times a week for at least 30 minutes. HIIT 2 or 3 times a week, and strength training every Saturday. I eat a pretty balanced diet, and occasionally cut out sweets for months at a time. Sometimes knee pain would prevent me from working out, but I still keep up a pretty good routine.

I think the thing that shocked me the most was the depression. Some days I just woke up feeling so low. I had no motivation for anything. I had to fight to get out of bed, I didn’t want to go to class, to deal with people, I didn’t even feel like reading (that says a lot). I just referred to those days as “bad days” but I had no idea what was causing them. Even my mentor would pull me into her office and ask what was wrong and all I could say was “I don’t know. I’m just don’t feel like doing anything today.”

I’m at least glad to know that there is a reason for all of these things. The problem is, I can’t be treated for any of them at the moment. Not until there’s a change in my hormone levels again. It sucks, but for the time being I just remind myself that there’s a reason why these things happen.

Sometimes the best I can do is not do anything. On “bad days” sometimes I skip my workout, stay in bed, and sleep. Otherwise I would be miserable for the entire day. Luckily I don’t have multiple days like that in a row. They sort of just pop up once in a while.

So for now, I guess I’m just dealing with it. My next appointment is at the end of December so maybe I’ll have some good news then. We’ll see!


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About Bookmark Chronicles

Hi! I'm Rae. 23. Avid Reader, Book Blogger. Intersectional Feminist. Gryffindor.
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10 Responses to Opening Up About My Disease

  1. masonlou says:

    Hope you get things sorted ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. carlalouise89 says:

    I know it’s different – we have different conditions – but I can relate in so many ways. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. Always x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I know exactly how you feel! I have hypothyroidism and also suffer from anxiety, sensitivity to the cold, extreme fatigue, along with many many other symptoms. As a student myself, I also find it difficult some days to be motivated to do homework! I hope everything goes well!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: October Wrap Up! 2016 | bookmarkchronicles

  5. michelle says:

    The nurse and mother in me wants to do or say something to make it all better–I wish it were that easy. For what it’s worth, it’s very positive that you are opening up about it. I hope it will help you and others, at least emotionally, and I do believe there is something to the connection between the mind, heart and body. At least by speaking out you are relieved of the stress of being in the dark, or being secretive, and maybe someone else will say, “Hey, that sounds like me…” and get an answer they need.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Something different | bookmarkchronicles

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