Domestic Violence Awareness

Aside from October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

One of my family members was in an abusive relationship for over two years, and she hid it from out entire family. She never said anything until she finally left her boyfriend. If your first reaction is, “what took her so long to leave?” then you’re already perpetuating the violence that she endured. You shouldn’t ask why she didn’t leave. Instead you should ask why he hit her in the first place. Or does the fact that he almost killed not important to you.

Just like with sexual assault, people ask the wrong questions in domestic violence cases. Instead of asking why the attacker committed the crime, they ask how the victim is at fault. As usual, victim-blaming is the reason that many people do not come forward. What happened when my cousin came forward? The men in our family basically got pissed at all of the women. Yeah, fucking riduculous right? Well, that’s what happened. Instead of asking if she was okay, where she was gonna go, were her children okay, and if she needed to talk to a professional….all of us (women) were told that we “need to start making better decisions” as if she went into the relationship knowing that she would be beaten. That by not telling the men what was going on so that they could handle it, she made them look bad. Made them look weak.

I have to admit that I have never been more ashamed and disappointed in my family than I was that night. Disappointed that despite the fact that my cousin took a huge step in recovering from her abuse, she was shamed for it. Somehow their wounded egos mattered more than her bruised and beaten body. Instead of comforting her, they played victim and whined about their fragile masculinity.

This is just a part of the problem surrounding domestic abuse.

Some people (despite how many times we correct them) are still under the impression that men can’t be victims in this situation. Yes, they can and they are. Maybe not as often, but it’s still happens. From research I’ve done, there is still only one shelter for male victims that opened in Arkansas earlier this year. However, I was able to find a few sources specifically for men that I will link below.

Here are some important facts about DV:

  • 1 in 4 women will experience severe physical violence from a partner
  • 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical violence form a partner
  • Alost 11% of women and over 2% of men are stalked by a partner
  • Nearly half of all men and women in the U.S. experience psychological aggression from their partner

Sources:


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About Bookmark Chronicles

Hi! I'm Rae. 23. Avid Reader, Book Blogger. Intersectional Feminist. Gryffindor.
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13 Responses to Domestic Violence Awareness

  1. Ariel Lynn says:

    1 in 7 is awful. I truly feel that there need to be more men’s D.V. shelters. One in a country is certainly underwhelming. 😥

    I saw this today & I’m seeing red. This level of ignorance perpetuates the horrible treatment of which your Aunt was the victim. BTW, I’m very glad she managed to get away safely & that she shared her situation with the family (even if your family made it more shameful & less likely that any woman would ever come to them again). I hope she’s doing better now & I wish her all the best. ❤ http://jezebel.com/oregon-gubernatorial-candidate-says-educated-women-cant-1787314143

    Liked by 1 person

    • She’s doing much better thank you! I hate when people say “oh just don’t let it happen” do they really think that these victims don’t fight? Like what the hell

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        It’s like they think the person starts hitting them the first time they meet. Or they have some weird aberration that tells a person immediately he/she will become abusive. It’s a crock. 😦

        I’m glad that she’s doing better. That’s what’s important, imo.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Marquessa says:

    So important to support women. DV can start so slowly and subtle…you don’t see it happening and if those around you are threatened (if you leave), all you feel is stuck. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Somehow their wounded egos mattered more than her bruised and beaten body.”
    This line is so important is every scenario possible. I love this. It got to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: October Wrap Up! 2016 | bookmarkchronicles

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