Rae’s Rules to Remember #25: Why you need to respect my choice not to have children

I decided when I was young that I probably wouldn’t want to have children when I grew up. I’m talking about second grade when I first said this out loud. My teacher’s response was, “Oh you’ll change your mind.” Well 14 years later, my mind still hasn’t changed. In fact, I think I’m more sure than ever that I do not want to have children. I obviously have nothing against women that do (thanks mom) or want to have children, but I don’t. I don’t care if you agree with me. I’ve made up my mind. But if you really want to know, here’s why:

Having a baby is expensive

• Medical bills, diapers, clothes, diapers, breast pump or formula, bottles, car seat, more diapers, diaper bag. There is an endless list of items that you need to properly take care of a baby. And it’s not like they’re only expensive when they’re little. What about in 18 years when they choose what college to go to? I’m already in debt from my undergrad experience, I don’t wanna do this again. You know what I could’ve done with the cost of my tuition the past four years? A LOT.

Another human growing inside of you is scary  to think about

• Have you ever thought about that? There is a person living and growing inside of you for almost a year. Think about what that’s like. It’s a little scary don’t you think?

Child birth; that shit hurts

• I already don’t do well with pain. I don’t want to do it. I remember a lot of people talking about the first time that they gave birth and how much it hurt, and all I could think was “why do you keep doing it?” It’s not for me, it’s just not.

Guess how many adoption agencies are in the U.S

• There are an estimated 3,000 adoption agencies in the United States alone. That’s just the U.S. Not to mention children around the world who aren’t in any sort of foster care system. Maybe I would be open the idea of adoption but, maybe I just don’t want to be a parent.

The world we live in is scary

• With my own experiences and watching the news, I don’t want to bring another person into such a screwed up world. I honestly don’t want to have to think about the chance that something could go wrong or that someone could hurt my child. It’s too much to take in. I worry about my little brothers enough, I don’t need more stress.

Medical reasons

• What a lot of people don’t know is that I have a thyroid disease that would make pregnancy very complicated for me and many times results in premature birth. No thank you

The fact that I am a women does not mean that I have to bear children

• Bearing children was never a birthright for women. It is and should have always been a choice. So if my choice is not to do it, then I’m not going to do it. End of story. It’s 2016, get with the times

It’s my choice

• You don’t get to tell me what to do. You don’t get to tell me what I “should” do. In fact, you don’t get to give your input at all. My life, my body, my choice. That’s it.

 

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